From The Blue House

1998. Before I left Virgin, Brian Kehew and I had put together an analog studio in Virginia and were recording the songs that would become From The Blue House.

I was more focused on the process than the product. I was still finding my voice (literally) and learning my craft. The label wanted me to deliver something they deemed sellable; I wanted to document something risky and authentic. I probably felt more emboldened to leave my label because that old story, of commerce vs art, now had a new twist: the internet.

I was excited about the potential of the new world online, which at that time was still mostly blogs and message boards. Amazon pretty much only sold books. LiveJournal was the closest thing we had to social media. Anything was possible. I was naively optimistic.

I learned html in a marathon session and made my own website.
I started an independent label, Free Union Records.
Brian Kehew and I finished recording From The Blue House and mixed it with Ethan Johns.
I got a distribution deal with PIAS to release FTBH in Europe.
I self-released the album in the US.
I recorded and produced Karmen Buttler’s album Good Alien for my label.
I started and ran an alt-acoustic weekly show at Tokyo Rose called Shut Up and Listen.
I did a solo tour in France.

This was all a lot of work in a very short period of time. 

I burned out. I basically didn’t come back from my tour, I hid out in London at my godmother’s house. I was exhausted and out of ideas:

I really didn’t want to spend my time running a business and promoting myself, but I hadn’t felt good about the major label world either. Either way, having that kind of business perspective, looking at my music and trying to measure whether it would turn a profit or who would buy it - it wasn’t a state of mind that was compatible with creativity or inspiration. 
When I talked about songs, I wanted to talk about art and existentialism and religion and hubris. 
When other people talked about ‘music’, they were talking about numbers and promotional schemes.

So I went through a weird, lonely time trying to figure it out. Got piercings and goth dreads. Didn’t play guitar.

After many months of floundering, I eventually found my way to the school of the arts at VCU as a dance major. It was a nourishing and inspiring experience that re-centered me around art as emotional expression and spiritual inquiry. After a year and half I was ready to get back on my path, and started taking the steps towards my third album, Choreography.